What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we're so committed to being not committed
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
