you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
