I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
