Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
