this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
