who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
