Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
