all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
