I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think my fart just growled at me.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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