Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
