I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
