i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
