I am in a vortex of obligation.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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