You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
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i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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