were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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