We won't sleep together?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
