Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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