You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
