lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
