erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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