Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The power of my boobs compel you
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
