i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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