Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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