you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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