The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
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Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
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But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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