we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
