He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
