I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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