I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
