I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
