Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I smell like Dick and happiness
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
