sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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