she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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