Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
