I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's the barista slut.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
