i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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