I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
