strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
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just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
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It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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