This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
