when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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