Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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