is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
