Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Randomize
