My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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