Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
