You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
