DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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