I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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