It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
