in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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