Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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