Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
