no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
