So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
