I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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