i think i have two assholes
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
