Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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