...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
