its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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