Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
