He is an equal opportunity slut.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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