Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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