I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
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I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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