We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
