he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize