I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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