Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
